Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A stolen post

But too hilarious not to share!

How Swine Flu really got started

blantantly stolen from wysiwyg here. Go by for the best collection of ???? on the web!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Weekly Words Challenge

Yay!! It's the Weekly Word Challenge! I'm going to attempt to put the badge on here next week.

The words were ANGRY and R.. I had an order I was going to attempt, but I simply cannot make the fog in my brain clear enough to make it work. So I'll just explain them in the order they landed.

This is my father and his first Racecar.

ARRRRRGH! A pirate.

Here, he's just Ready. I'm not sure for what.

This wasn't sideways when I loaded it. But it's a picture of ANGRY.

Here we have Rustic. Also my favorite picture of him, ever.

A Rottweiler.


RAH Rah. This is my oldest daughter when she was but a wee bairn.

Come back next week for more of the same, but different!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Hey Look! It's a post that's NOT about my back!

It's about how pharmaceuticals can make life bearable when without them, you are in agony. It's about how boring life can be when you can't do what you want, when you want. In other words, I'm soooooooo boooooorrrreeeedd. I can't think properly, so the reading isn't going so good. I have managed to start selling things on ebay though. How fun is that? People are paying big bucks for stuff I don't want anymore! I haven't quite figured out the shipping thing though. I think 'oh, this is small. I should be able to ship it for $5', then I get to the post office and he's all 'that'll be $10.50', and I'm all 0-o? (that's my confused face)

And I called a water delivery service to get the pool filled. Um, no. I refuse to pay $1000 for water. So I pulled the hose over and dropped it in and it should be full by August. My water usage isn't metered. I pay $56 a month whether I use none, or say, 23,000 gallons. Which, coincidentally, happens to be the amount my pool holds. So, at the rate it's running now, it should be full by mid-May. I am being considerate and only running it at night (only because I like my neighbor and want her to have water pressure during the day).

Let's see, what other trivial minutiae can I enthrall you with? Did I mention the boredom? and that my thought processes feel like they're under water? Am I making any sense at all? don't answer that. humor me.

The illustrious Betty Boop is going to the vet tomorrow for a pupectomy. She is the victim of an immaculate conception. That dog was never out of my presence the whole time she was in season, but I swear she's pregnant. Her little belly is all poofy and she's eating like a little pig. She has to be spayed no matter, so we'll see.

Remember when I was going to get a tattoo on the inside of my wrist? Of course you do. Well, I'm glad I didn't. Because for some reason, now when I see the word "BREATHE", I see BREATHE. See it? EAT. Now that I've seen it, I can't unsee it. And I need no reminders to eat, thankyouverymuch. Wouldn't that suck? Especially to have it permanently rendered on a place that can't easily be covered. So now I'm thinking of using my meditation mantra, which is "Let It Be". Maybe I'll write it on with a sharpie first, just to make sure. Thoughts?

OK, I'll put you out of your misery. I'm out of miscellany. Peace.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

It's official

I'm old. And decrepit. Tore up from the floor up. My chiro sent me to the ER because I was losing function in my right foot due to the nerve being impinged upon by my very rude L5 disc. They gave me morphine. I asked if I could live there with the nice ladies who brought me feel good stuff. They politely declined and sent me off for an MRI.

How many of you have had this particular pleasure? You probably know what's coming if you have. I am not claustrophobic. Well, I wasn't claustrophobic until they slid me head first into that tube. They didn't even finish pushing me all the way in before I was pumping that little button for all I was worth. She asks me all nice "Did you need something, dear?" Poppets, I am embarrassed to tell you that I lost my shit. I panicked. This has never happened to me before, and I did not like it one bit. I have mercilessly teased my mother for years about being claustrophobic, telling her to put on her big girl panties and suck it up. I have prided myself on always being in control, blah blah...

Yeah, not that day. So they all gave me the stink eye and sent me back to my cubicle for some ativan and haldol. And we tried again. And I lost it again. More stinkeye and heavy sighs. I'm mentally apologizing to my mother for treating her that way. So I'm sent home with some anti-inflammatory's and painkillers. That don't work. I went to an outpatient office and had an open MRI, for which I paid an additional $1400 over the already exorbitant initial cost. But I got it done. And now I wish I hadn't.

My chiro got the results, called me up and asked me the following:

Have I done hard manual labor for a living, such as landscaping or hauling bricks?
Have I ridden horses that jump a lot?
Have I been in a really bad car accident?

No, no and no. Why? Because, she tells me, I have the spine of someone in their late 60's. I have three herniated discs with huge protrusions. My vertebrae are compressed to half their size. I'm a mess. So I have a consult with a surgeon on Tuesday. Who is going to tell me that if I don't let him cut the discs away from the nerves, I'm going to lose all function of my right leg.

Oh, and guess who let her health insurance drop two months ago because we couldn't afford it? That would be me. Sigh.

I'll be taking sign ups in the comments for day shift entertainment and company keeping. If I have to lay around in bed all summer, I want you guys with me.

Monday, April 13, 2009

More waaaaah.......

Well poppets, we have a diagnosis. After much x-raying and MRI-ing and AGONY-ing, at least we now know the problem. A piece of my L5 disc has broken off and lodged in the nerve root. Why, yes. It is as painful as it sounds. I was reduced to crawling to the kitchen this afternoon. I really wanted that coffee.

Unfortunately, surgery may be called for, although my chiro and massage therapist are doing all they can to pull the disc back off the nerve. Surgery is a last resort, but not being able to walk is rather inconvenient and will need to be addressed eventually.

So I'm stuck here on the sofa, bored to tears. Did you know that daytime television is really frightening? If extraterrestrial life is monitoring earth via the airwaves, I look for an invasion any minute. Because they must think we're the dumbest beings ever. If I ever go back to school and have to write a thesis, I'm writing it on Jerry Springer and how they've trained the participants much like Pavlov trained his dogs. When they ring the bell, those people stop whatever they are doing and start to fight. They ring the bell again, and they stop! It's fascinating. I've never seen anything quite like it.

So anyway, I'm bored. I'll need lots and lots of posts from everyone to keep me occupied. Also recommendations for books and movies would be appreciated.

I guess I'll go look at pictures of talking cats for a few more hours. I hope I don't get to the end of the internet.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

and people wonder why I don't believe in god

I think we can all agree that this world needs all of the beauty and joy and happiness that it can get. Am I right?

How can anything or anyone justify or explain why such joy and beauty would be taken out of this world?

It's not right. It's just not right.

Go here and donate in her name. Perhaps it will help another family not have to endure this hell.

I tried to link to Heather's site for you, but I think we've crashed their server. Here's a link to a lovely memorial that Sam put up.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Weekly Word Challenge

It's the weekly word challenge! I'm glad I joined this, at least I'll post once a week. Believe me, with everything going on, I'm doing good to get that. The weird thing is, I blog all day in my head. Do you guys do that? Just me? Loony bird, you say? Well, that's not nice. I'm taking my toys and going home.

After I show you my interpretation of the words for this week, which were spring and opening.

Nothing says spring like a bunny. This is Cabeza de Leon, aka beza. His name translates from spanish to head of a lion. Because (wait for it...) he's a lion headed rabbit. The cleverness, it astounds you.

Spring is also epitomized by baseball. Or in this case, tball. Or as it was known for most of the game, tackle tball.

(yes, I am aware I need to get him some baseball socks and cleats. Opening day kind of snuck up on me, OK?) OH WAIT! It was opening day! I can use these for both words. That's good, because for opening? I got nuttin.
Have I mentioned that my back hurts? Yes? fine. carry on...

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Because my sciatica hurts, that's why!

Oh, poppets...the pain, the AGONY. I've never had this before, and I don't like it, not one bit. We had a lovely, warm springlike day and I went a little crazy with the yardwork. Normally, this would result in my wayward disc poking out a little, an application of the heating pad, and we'd all be fine.

But this! This is different. and it won't go away. From my middle back to the knee of my right leg is suffused with cold fire. I can't walk or sit or lay comfortably. Someone call the waaahmbulance.

Instead of doing the old lady shuffle, I'm doing the peg leg lurch. Frightening small children and animals as I heave myself around in a bizarre ballet of stiff legged lunging, grimace of pain plastered to my face.

If anyone has any experience with this beast called sciatica, please advise me. What works on this? What have you tried?

And for those of you who aren't all broken up and falling apart? You can just kiss my sciatica.

(normally, I'm not so mean...but the PAIN...the pain makes me snarky...I'm glad you're not all broke up, really I am)