Sunday, April 5, 2009

Because my sciatica hurts, that's why!

Oh, poppets...the pain, the AGONY. I've never had this before, and I don't like it, not one bit. We had a lovely, warm springlike day and I went a little crazy with the yardwork. Normally, this would result in my wayward disc poking out a little, an application of the heating pad, and we'd all be fine.

But this! This is different. and it won't go away. From my middle back to the knee of my right leg is suffused with cold fire. I can't walk or sit or lay comfortably. Someone call the waaahmbulance.

Instead of doing the old lady shuffle, I'm doing the peg leg lurch. Frightening small children and animals as I heave myself around in a bizarre ballet of stiff legged lunging, grimace of pain plastered to my face.

If anyone has any experience with this beast called sciatica, please advise me. What works on this? What have you tried?

And for those of you who aren't all broken up and falling apart? You can just kiss my sciatica.

(normally, I'm not so mean...but the PAIN...the pain makes me snarky...I'm glad you're not all broke up, really I am)


Vanessa said...

I would give you a massage and use a technique called PNF (proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation). I also advise Epsom salt bath to help the surrounding muscles that are no doubt being over-stretched to accommodate this peg leg lurch you are describing. When you sleep try laying on your (non affected) side with a pillow between your legs (especially at the points of knees and ankles) to keep both legs parallel from hips down. Try rubbing some arnica (can be found at most drug stores in cream or oil form) on the spot of pain origin on your back.

This of course is all "massage therapist" advice and since we can't/won't/don't diagnose I also have to advise you to call your MD and make him/her aware of this situation and request their advice.

I hope your pain eases soon. I've seen others in this pain and I really feel for you. Take it easy, ok? (No, really, take it easy! I know you just laughed when you read it the first time so we'll put it here a second time for emphasis.)

Ree said...

Someone call the Waaambulance? I'm sorry, but I'm laughing too hard to be all broken up.

Snirk. snort. sniff.

Okay, I'm better. Hope you are soon, too!

the queen said...

I am so sorry. My m-i-l had that. She gutted it out for a few months and as a personal miracle and favor to herself Jesus healed her pain. After several months of begging.

Dingo said...

I had to lie down and take a breather after reading "wayward disc poking out a little" -- ow, ow, ow -- but I'm back now.

It sounds like you need to call a doctor or better yet, have Vanessa make a house call. And I hope all the yardwork will pay off and flowers, weedless expanses of green lawn, and beautifully trimmed hedges will reward you for your efforts.

Kitty Cat said...

Go to a chiropractor, a good one, immediately!!!

Sweetly Single said...

Until you go to the Back Cracker... Lay on your back with two pillows propping up your legs

~hugs~ I hope you feel better soon!

Jocelyn said...

I had a friend held hostage by sciatica who used a TENS machine with great success. Oh, you poor honey.

Gramps said...

Back pain is indeed the worst.

Anonymous said...

Good Lord, woman, you are a mess!Wish there was some magic I could do to make you all better and pain-free.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} and prayers your way...