Have I got a 'before' for you!

Unfortunately, the 'after' is going to take 4 to 6 months.

Anyone have a spare room? or 5?

We think the cord to the reading lamp that sat beside the sofa short circuited. Thankfully, I was home and was able to awaken SweetieDarling and get her and the dogs out. Everything on our main living level is lost, but other than a bit of smoke inhalation on my part, everyone is fine. They tell me it was less than a minute or two from flashpoint. We would've lost the entire house if that had happened. So there's that.

We're in a motel, one of the few that allows pets. I've boarded the labs, but kept the little ones with me. We'll have to find a place to rent until the repairs are done.

I'm tired. I really just want to go home.

Here comes the rain again

We had just a wee bit of rain this week. A gullywasher, if you will.

Below is what it looked like from my kitchen door to the bottom of the driveway. The river is across the road from my drive. My neighbors get the pleasure of having a ravine carved into their road.

This is what I encountered when I left to take Silas to school:

It used to be my road. Just a smidge problematic to get through, but I made it. Just to encounter this:

I finally muck my way through the mess, get off the mountain, and 30 minutes later:

Blue skies all around. Looks like it didn't even rain here. Must be that storm cloud that hangs around over my head.

The Death of the Jaguar

It is with much sadness that I report that the jag has finally given up the ghost. The diagnosis? Transmission failure. The car was running fine when I parked it. I got in it to leave, put it in drive and nothing. Which is unusual, because transmissions don't just go bad sitting still. Unless it's a jag. Apparently.

I've managed to insult my mechanic (evidently I don't take the news of several thousand dollar repair bills very well), I've pissed off (better than pissed on, I always say) the second opinion mechanic I towed the damn thing to and some random guy who answers questions on the internet mechanics forum. Three for three - I'm on a roll! With much wailing and gnashing of teefs, some kicking and a bit of screaming, I have accepted that it is, indeed, the tranny. The upside is that I can honestly say that I've blown a tranny this week. Too bad it wasn't Eddie Izzard.

Let's recap, shall we?

June 09. Scene: me, standing at car auction, looking to buy something to replace the expedition. Cash in my hot little hand. Need something practical, that will go in snow and over rough roads. Auctioneer brings through the jag. I take one look, say "ooh, SHINY", throw all my money at the guy and drive away grinning like an idiot.

August 09. Scene: me at the jag dealer holding a printout of all the sensors, parts and various sundry things wrong with car. No longer grinning.

October 09. Car overheats, gets towed, has thermostat replaced, needs million dollar overflow tank. Still overheats, needs fan assembly replaced for additional million dollars. Frowning commences.

November and December are deceptively problem free. Tentative grinning is resumed. Grinning is soon replaced by the ugly cry as I realize that there is no way under the sun that I can afford to fix this car. And even if I could, I wouldn't because it would just be something else next week. If I had done my research properly in the first place, I never would have bought it. I was dazzled! Hoodwinked by her beauty! Taken in by her curves and smooth ride. (contrary to the previous sentence, this is not a p0rn blog) While I lovedlovedloved that car, if anyone asked me for a recommendation, I would suggest running away as fast as possible. Unless you have an unlimited supply of money and an import mechanic living with you.

Since I still haven't reached a settlement with F0rd for the expedition, I have to find some transportation that fits into my budget of $0. Stay tuned for the next episode of 'As the wheels don't turn'.

2010? You are NOT off to an auspicious start. Step it up.

What does it say about me

that the two favorite things I was gifted encourage sitting around? My husband gave me a heated throw. Brilliant! Not as large as a blanket, perfect for keeping warm on the sofa. In case my heated throw left my arms exposed, Lucy gave me a snuggie. And not just a snuggie. Oh no. A leopard print snuggie. Fabulous! I look fierce while chillaxin in mah snuggie. (taking bets on how many more times I can say 'snuggie' in this post*)

SweetieDarling gave me Love's Baby Soft! Do you remember that from junior high? Not only do I look fierce, I smell good too. Silas picked me out a lovely watch so I can time how long I lounge around.

While I'm all wrapped up and cozy (in my snuggie), I'm reflecting on 2009 (blargh, patooie, hiss) and pondering 2010 (tentative optimism). Please do share what lovelies you were gifted with so I can be happy for you. I hope you got a snuggie.

*2

Merry Christmas!

May you enjoy the company of good friends...

May large, pig like creatures NOT try to eat your hat...

May you have much peace.

This post is not password protected

I was wondering if you'd be willing to share some of your vast store of knowledge and wisdom with me? Please? I have encountered a situation here in bloggyland that I don't know how to handle. If someone password protects a post, how am I supposed to respond?

Do I email them and ask for the password? That seems a little presumptuous to me. If they wanted me to have the password, wouldn't they have sent it to me? Of course, that seems a bit egotistical as well. Assuming that everyone I read would think to send me the password. Hell, half the people I read don't even know I read them.

Do I assume that they're writing about me and that everyone in the world has the password except me and you're all talking about it? (j/k on that one. Even I'm not that narcissistic)

What if I email and ask for it (which I did once) and they don't respond (which she didn't). I took this to assume that she didn't want me to read the post. duh But an email saying "hey, it's personal, no offense, quit stalking me you freak" would have been appreciated.

So, what is the universally accepted, correct, courteous and proper way to handle password protected posts? Please do share before I embarrass myself further.

I may have crossed a line

But before I get to that, I must show you what horror I had to endure on Halloween. I'm pleased with myself that I've gotten the Halloween pictures up before Christmas (hold your applause).

Silas has wanted to be the Predator from the Alien vs. Predator movies for two years now. This year I finally got it together and found the mask and hands for him. Sidenote: Do NOT, ever, google 'child predator hands'. Google does not know you mean predator costume. Back to your regularly scheduled post. And we can all thank his father for letting him watch such a scary movie. You have no idea how many arguments have ensued in our household over this. His defense? "He doesn't know what he's watching". I beg to differ. Anyway, sorry, end of tangent.

So hold onto your hats, ladies and gents. This is the extremely scary and somewhat nauseating costume my six year old wanted:

He has the helmet with the dread locks on it, but chose not to wear it. I have no idea why. The poor thing was absolutely mortified when a little girl took one look at him, screamed, and ran to her mother. He pulled his mask off, fell to his knees, and told her "it's just me. I'm just a little boy. I won't hurt you".

Now on to the line I may have crossed.

I have put the dogs in pajamas.

I know. You don't have to say it. I'm just not sure if there's a way back from this.

I've painted the bully's toenails. I've put bows in the spaniel's ears. (are those apostrophe's right?) (Is that one?) Someone get me a punctuation teacher and have me a baby. That should solve both problems, don'tcha think?

At least they're cute pajamas, right?