Wednesday, May 7, 2008

If I didn't have Piglet...

Most people say "I just don't know what I'd do without him/her/them", meaning their child/ren.
Or "I just can't imagine life without..." While I love my son with all of my heart, I can, and often do, imagine my life without him. I'm glad I had him, and I enjoy his being here, but poppets? I was done! Kids grown and gone, no more t-ball, first day of school, trick or treat, temper trantrums, playdates, park politics, all the fun that comes with a small child.

If I didn't have Piglet, I would:

*leave this shiteous marriage

*sell my company

*move to England

*disappear into my inner world with my books, and gardening and internet and not have to be so present all the time.

*be gloriously alone

*be miserably alone

Why can't I do these things with Piglet, you ask? Well, a myriad of reasons, really. He needs his father and his mother to be together like he's always known. He needs some type of legacy. If I sell the company, what will I leave him?

I could go on, but I wonder if perhaps having Piglet isn't my excuse for not taking responsibility for my own life?

9 comments:

Ree said...

It happens. I wonder from time to time, too. Then somehow, we all seem to mesh wonderfully and it keeps me going until the next time.

Twisting Ivy said...

I'm going with "I hear ya".

Other than that... I'm not the best example or giver of sage advice on this topic. =)

Vanessa said...

I secretly think this about my dogs, that if I didn't have dogs, I could do ______. Like leave this crap hole of a relationship.

Jen @ The Cubicle's Backporch said...

I agree with Vanessa. Sometimes I apply it to our pets. I love them, but they hamper vacation time. hee hee.

moo said...

I think sometimes it's hard to take the time for YOURSELF and do the things to take care of YOU.

Maybe Piglet will grow up and not want to run the business.

Maybe Piglet will one day say to you "why did you stay with my father all those years?"

There's always a flip side and what I'm trying to say is ... it's okay to put yourself and your needs first sometimes.

Meg said...

I don't know.

I think it's common to play the what if game, because so many small things dictate our course.

But being more than content takes work and for me sometimes the thought of that work can be overwhelming.

Good luck-

Candy said...

First of all, I'm not sure I realized your marriage was in that sort of a state, but I totally hear where you're coming from. I spent years declaring I would never stay in a marriage for the kids, but those are words easier said than done.

As for the business...sell it and leave him the money! Not everyone is up to the weight of a legacy.

Kate said...

Gotcha. Can't offer advice, as I've never been there. However, I think I know what you mean. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Its your life and its now or never.
I'd be willing to bet the people closest to you would support you in anything you did. Including your piglet when he got older.

And would you ever really be alone? Gloriously or Miserably?

Life isnt about finding yourself in the way things have turned out, Life is about creating yourself and taking everything and everyone along

now, have you seen this site?
http://www.nataliedee.com/archives/2009/May/