Sunday, March 16, 2008

My life as an excavator, or How I became a ditch digger

Ree, over at the hotfessional, asked how I came to own an excavating company. When you wake from your boredom induced coma, you can go tell her to stop asking questions you don't wanna know the answers to. Once upon a time, a long, looooong, time ago, a little girl wanted to be a lawyer when she grew up. This little girl never lost an argument, a master debater she grew up to be (make sure you put the de in there). So the little girl grew up, went wild, had babies, figured out what caused the babies, calmed down, went back to college and then law school. The young lady, at 28 years old, with three chilluns, got her law degree. Yay!! Then, while dating Him (who will become her husband, much to his dismay) started practicing law. Practicing is the key word here. Because, guess what? Law stuff is hard! And boring! And tedious! No one tells you this in law school. Unless you go into trial law, and unless you actually try the trials, it's one big ole snoozefest.

So the young (rapidly getting older at an alarming rate) lady marries Him and they settle down into domestic bliss (har!). The young lady ponders what she wants to be when she grows up. She decides she'll simply never grow up, problem solved, the end. That worked until the young lady realized that she really liked having the finer things in life, like food, and needed some money. At this point the young lady switches back to speaking about herself in the first person, because this is exhausting. She simply doesn't know how Bossy does it.

My father in law was ready to retire and wanted to sell his business contracts and equipment. I thought Hey! I've got eleventy gazillion dollars out in school loans and no income! I should borrow a hundredy million more and buy an excavating company! So I did. Did I mention that law school doesn't teach common sense?

So here I am with my brand new, shiny, excavating company. Off I go into the wilds of construction. Did you know that to work on a construction site you must have a penis? Me neither. Oh, but girlfriend, I quickly got schooled. Yes indeedy. Not only was this told to me, but also shown to me. Sadly, some things just can't be unseen. I have been told to get home and tend my house. That I should stay behind my desk and leave the field operations to the men. That "I don't take no orders from no wimmin". Never mind that this woman signs your paycheck.

But, using my charm, wit, and litigious nature, I slowly won these neanderthals gentlemen over. Once they figured out that I could deliver what I promised, that I was fair, and that I knew what I was doing, they did give me a fighting chance. I think the most important thing I did was to ask questions if I didn't know something, instead of following my first instinct, which is to try to huff and puff my way through (something they do teach in law school).

So I've been at it for ten years now. I guess I know what I want to be when I grow up. A ditch digger.

My other ride is a beast!


wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Very entertaining post. I always wondered how to get into the excavating business.

Twisting Ivy said...

Loved reading this excerpt of your life story!

Vanessa said...

I loved this story. Proof that you don't always have to follow the rules to make a good living and enjoy life. Wanna help me figure out what to be when I grow up? ;)

carrie said...

I think that's very cool!