Sunday, March 9, 2008

Maximus, Best dog ever.

How do you repay a lifetime of loyalty? As I type this, I lay here beside my Mastiff, Maximus. He's 9 years old and he has bone cancer. He is wasting away and he looks to me to ease his pain. I carried this dog around like I birthed him until he was too big to carry. I have seldom gone anywhere without him. I've had him twice as long as I've had my son. He is a two hundred pound lap dog that has slept in the bed with us since we got him (king size, natch). When I was pregnant with piglet and had hyperemesis and didn't think I would survive, he comforted me. He laid his huge head on my huge belly and he snored. Piglet would instantly calm and still. After piglet was born, when he would cry, laying him on the dog would always relax and comfort him.

How do I explain to my four year old that his buddy, playmate, brother, is gone and will never be back? I know that there are people who have more serious issues, who have to explain why a father, mother, human brother aren't coming back, and I understand that's harder. But right now, in my grief, I can't imagine how anything could be harder. I don't know how to answer the questions that he will ask. I don't know how to soften the blow. So, in my uncertainty, Maximus waits, in pain, for me to gather my courage and help him like he has helped me for so long.


Annie said...

Shania - thanks for your comment on my blog. In response to your post about Maximus, I put a related story on my blog. I had reached a point with my dog that the vet said, "The only reason she's still alive is because you told her to live." To this day it was the worst thing I've ever had to deal with. I hope my story offers you some comfort in your grief.

Candy said...

Sure, there are bigger issues than the deaths of our pets out there. But not when it's YOUR pet, and not when it's happening to you.

My heart goes out to you. I've lost a couple of good dogs, and some cats too, and it never gets easier. Maybe it's because you can't look them in the eye and explain what's happening to them. I always feared they thought I could help them, and just wouldn't.

Poor Max. Poor you. Hang in there.

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Oh no. Poor Maximus (which is the coolest dog name ever!). Just because other people have problems in their lives doesn't minimize the very BIG and real problems in your own. I wish Maximus peace.

Vanessa said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear family member. Pets find their way into our hearts and it's never easy to let them go.