Gene Simmons is in da HOWSE ya'll!!

So my hair is 90% gray. OK, who am I kidding, white. It has been since I was 19. This would be fine and dandy if it looked like Emmylou's. It doesn't. It looks like Emmylou's if Emmylou took a comb and dropped it in a mudpuddle and then picked it up and used it and then, oops! she dropped it again in a pile of dog doo and picked it up and used it and you get the picture. So I have colored my hair for years. With the exception of the great lucy ricardo red debacle of '91, I've pretty much stuck to dark brown and black (my "natural" color if my "natural" color wasn't WHITE). Having recently strayed from my overly pompass, overly priced, overly full of himself but damned good stylist, I now look like this: OK, pretend Gene's pic is here, I'm new to this stuff. HA HA see how funny it would be if his pic were here? Notice the lovely flat, drab, no depth, no shine texture of his (our) hair? Yes, I know. You want to know where you can achieve such a milestone in hair color. Find someone who smokes and ask them if you can empty their ashtrays on your head and rub them in. Trust me, it's a lot cheaper, you'll get the same results and yours will wash out.