Thursday, November 13, 2008

CSI: West Virginia

My house looks like a crime scene! I came home last week to a front door that looked like this:





That's blood spatter all over my front door. I was all, ???? So I proceeded into the house, albeit a bit cautiously. This is what I found:



This is all over my house! On every wall, door, appliance and piece of furniture. SweetieDarling is at school, Silas is with me, and Sam is at work, so exactly whom has bled all over my house? The house doesn't appear to have been ransacked (well, anymore than it usually does) and there is nothing missing. Hmmm. Time for some sleuthing.

The first thing I notice is that the blood never extends over three feet high. So a little person has broken in and flung blood all over my walls? Probably not. All of the blood either looks like it's been painted on with a feather, or it's in round or oblong dots. So...after a quick consultation with Gil Grisson I determine that something bloody has been flung against the walls over, and over, and over again. My brilliance never ceases to dazzle, does it?

I finally (three or four hours later) figured out that the end of Gus' tail is bloody and when he wags it, he flings blood everywhere. Yeah. Ever tried to bandage the end of a dogs tail? Talk about a Sisyphean endeavor. Put it on, he chews it off. Put it back on, he wags it off. The dog has only recently discovered his tail. He will occasionally catch sight of it out of the corner of his eye and it surprises him every time. He will then chase it until he clamps the end of it between his teeth. This hurts so he yelps and lets go. Until he sees it again. Repeat ad infinitum.

I'm tired of wiping blood off the walls. I've done it every evening for a week. Someone tell me how to keep the dog from chewing his tail, I beg of you. I hope there's never a need for the police to luminol my house. I'll have some splainin' to do.

24 comments:

Twisting Ivy said...

LOL! That could indeed by a very awkward luminol experience. =)

What about spraying some nasty tasting stuff onto the bandage? And once it's healed enough, onto his tail itself? At least til he remembers it's his tail, for crying out loud.

You know... like "Bitter Apple" or some other pet deterrent product. =)

Sweetly Single said...

Try some pepper paste. Dogs can't stand the smell so he'll stay away from it.

Hopefully he figures it out soon!!!

Ashley said...

I would have freaked and ran screaming until Hubby could come home and figure it out. Also I wouldn't have just consulted with Gil, I would have jumped him.

Such a smart girl you are!

kwoneshe2 said...

ROFL Oddly enough, I found blood on the side of a couch once...cat blood.

mssc54 said...

A happy bleeding dog. Who woulda ever thunk it?

Too funny.

Ree said...

Wait honey. Okay, call me dumb, but do you really live in West-by-gawd? Did you tell me that? Shoot me now, because I've obviously killed way too many brain cells.

>>embarrassed side-looks<<

Annnyyyyywayyyy, how about peppermint? Something stanky anyway.

>>going back into hiding now<<

Being Brazen said...

It must have been quite creepy coming home to a blood stained wall.

Poor Doggy - hope his tail heals fast.

Have a great weekend :)

Tamara said...

Wow - that must have been scary when you first arrived home. I was also going to suggest some nasty-tasting stuff for the bandages.

Jennifer said...

Our old dog used to chew his tail till it bled. Never painted the walls though, that takes talent. Once they start, its hard to break them of the habit, buy a cone.

the cubicle's backporch said...

Hmm... a wall painting dog. Interesting.

They have stuff for chickens called blukote. (or something like that) to prevent then pecking on each other. (It tastes bad) Maybe try something like that?

Kate said...

So glad you found out what it was. It would have FAAAREEEAAAKKKEED me out if I found blood all over my house with unnammed sources.

Kath said...

Poor puppy. They don't learn do they. Try some tea tree oil, they don't like the smell and it will help it to heal.
My dog wagged his tail over a freshly painted wall, not once, not twice, but three times. The poor painter, I think he wanted to scream or worse. But he was the one that couldn't stand the dog being locked on the other side of the gate!

kittyconcerto.com said...

That would have given me a heart attack to walk into that! And unfortunately I have no advice to give. Too bad he's not one of those kinds of dogs that you chop off the tail....

Vanessa said...

I had a little incident like this and joked that it looked like Charles Manson had visited. Good luck cleaning and I've put duct tape on the dog's tail to stop the bleeding. They have a harder time getting it off and so will you. If you do this, you have to wait for the hair to grow out before you can get the tape off. Poor Gus, hopefully he learns soon!

Sizzle said...

At least you discovered the culprit because it would drive me batty not to know. Bandaging a dog's tail sounds like an exercise in futility but what else can you do?

Rima said...

Don't they have spray on band-aids nowadays? Worth a shot :)

Jocelyn said...

Do what I did to my son: cut off his tail.

Problem solved.

Vodka Mom said...

oh my GOD!!! That was funny. I loved this post.

Lynette said...

OMG.. You're much braver than I. I totally would have been screaming down the street waiting for The Man to get home. LOL

Kristy said...

LOL! That was hysterical!

Dingo said...

If I had seen a three foot high streak of blood and no bodies in sight, I think I would've wondered if Gus had eaten a roving band of midgets.

As for his tail, put him in an E-collar until his tail heals. Then, you need to do some serious training. I'm not an expert but I do have some advice. Email me if you want to know what I think. Hell, email me even if you don't want to know what I think -- I miss you!

Slyde said...

ouch! poor pooch! i cant stand it when i see a dog (or any animal) hurt....

Kitty Cat said...

I've never heard of a dog biting it's tail that hard, till it bleeds. Our dogs chase their tails, but just hold them in their mouths. My goodness! I hope you find a solution.

XUE said...

I'm a big fan of Grisson & his team so I'm so intrigued buy yr opening lines. Ha! Ha! Funny post! I would be quite scared after 3 hours of not knowing!