Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The untimely demise of Katharine Hepburn

The following events occurred several weeks ago. I was just in too much pain to relive it by telling the story. As time is wont to do, it has made the pain fade somewhat. But never the memory.

My cutest puppy in the world, Katharine Hepburn, was killed accidentally. I was walking her in the yard when she saw a squirrel. Her collar had been loosened earlier, I suppose by playing with one of the labs. As spaniels do, she took off after the squirrel, slipping out of her collar. She ran directly under the rear wheels of Sam's truck as he was turning up the drive. To say we were devastated is an understatement. I got to hold her in my arms for her final minutes and tell her how much I loved her and what a wonderful dog she was and how so very, very sorry I was. And then I lost my shit.

And my mind. I saw her everywhere, curled up on my pillow, peeking out from under the bed, everywhere. I truly believe that her death was the catalyst that sent me right over the edge. That loosened my tenuous (at best) grip on sanity and/or reality. That sent me to the psychiatrist for medication I obviously needed before she died.

Once I stabilized a bit, I started looking for another dog. One just like her. Morbid as that sounds, it made perfect sense to me at the time. I had to have her back, somehow. I imposed upon the ever patient and understanding Candy to contact friends of hers who raise that breed. I went to every website that catered to Cavaliers looking for a tri-color female. It took me three years to find Katharine Hepburn, so my hopes were not high. While the breed itself isn't rare, the tri-color females are hard to get. (Well, I could have had my pick of many if I were willing to pay upwards of $2000. Distraught as I was, I retained some sense). As luck, or fate, or whatever stirring of the winds you chose to believe in had it, I found her.



Meet Betty Boop. She's snuggled in the paws of my ancient Rottie Athena, who is in desperate need of a pedicure. She is sweet and beautiful. She has many of the same mannerisms of her predecessor, but she isn't her. And I won't dishonor Katharine Hepburn's memory by pretending she is. But I will pour all of the love I had for Katharine Hepburn to her.

12 comments:

Sizzle said...

What a horrible accident! I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you have found some new life to join yours though.

coastrat said...

Shania: So sorry to learn of your personal loss... It hurts so much when this happens. Am so glad that you have found Betty, and that your spirits are lifted somewhat by your new little girl.

Many years ago, when our three children were very young, we were all playing with our pet Australian Shephard in our front yard, beneath a huge maple tree, when a pick-up truck came driving by, and Sandy took off to chase it and was run over and killed in front of everyone. It was devastating for the kids to see, but sometimes that's how life goes, way too suddenly, when you are not expecting it.

Another time, when my wife was pregnant with our first child, living in Wisconsin, while I was working at a new job in northeastern Wyoming (before I could move her and our things out to join me), she accidently ran over her beautiful male cat, Poofer, while backing out of the garage. When she called me to tell me about it, she was devastated, and so was I, being almost a thousand miles away, kind of like I am now, and virtually helpless to try to provide comfort to her in person then. My only comfort was having our other cat, a female named Woodstock, with me in Wyoming, to help keep me company until I could go back and move her and Poofer out to us. Now, she has our White Persian female, Alyssa, there with her in Wisconsin. And me, well, I have myself here...
{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

sam {temptingmama} said...

OMG. I am so sorry! I am really glad that you found Betty Boop and I really hope you're feeling better. Please don't blame yourself, it was a freak accident!!

Ree said...

Oh honey. Many, many hugs to you. How horrible. and no wonder you were in the shape you were.

Betty is adorable. She may not be Katharine, but she's lucky to have you...and you her.

Twisting Ivy said...

Oh Shania! I'm so sorry! =(

I hope Betty Boop brings you some comfort and she's lucky to have such a loving family.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I'm sorry that happened to you. I love King Charles' they are SO Cute.

Kate said...

Oh Shania. Big hugs to you from SD and I feel for you. So much I do. I haven't lost either of my kittens, but I do know that the time will come and after losing Jason, that might be the straw that pushes me over the edge as well.

So glad you have another pup to love. Sometimes I feel like I have so much love to give and no one to share it with. You've got her now. Good for you.

Dingo said...

I am so sorry to hear about the horrible accident. So sorry. But I'm glad Betty Boop has a good home and that you have each other.

Vanessa said...

Oh honey, I am so so very sorry for your loss. Animals have a way of getting into our hearts and warming them like no other can. I'm so glad you found Betty and while she is not Katherine, her love can be just as heartwarming. I truly believe you were meant to find her and her you. Fate just works that way. HUGS

jen @ the cubicle's backporch said...

We lost our shitzu, Angel, who had been Mr. C's dog since she was a puppy when she chased a motorcycle and he couldn't swerve and miss her. It was horribly sad and I've never seen Mr. C so upset. Our bed felt empty without two dogs in it. It was awful!

I'm so glad you guys found Betty Boop and that she obviously has the approval of her big 'sister'. She's adorable!

Madness said...

Oh I am so sorry about Katherine Hepburn .. just over a month ago I almost lost my 4 month old sharpei puppies to parvo..BOTH of them.(check my archives for the second by second details) I felt as if my own children were on death watch .. I hope you find joy and love .. and peace .. with Betty Boop
Love,
Madness

Candy said...

Betty Boop has no idea how lucky she is. And thank GOD you explained those claws because I was about to write you and tell you to get your money back for that thing...er...dog...?