Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Do you want to know if your kid is "THAT kid"?

Piglet goes to preschool three mornings a week. In general, I am extremely happy with the school, staff, and students. But...there's that kid. The one that sneaks a punch as piglet runs by, that makes sure teacher isn't looking then wrestles the toy out of his hands, that pushes, pinches, and terrorizes. Piglet has been at this school since his 2nd birthday. He has never had any problems with any other children. He's never even been in time out.

But this year about three weeks in, I started to hear about how Tony is bad at school, Tony got in trouble, Tony hit so and so. Then I started hearing about not wanting to go to school. That had never happened before. Piglet is very excited to get away from me for three hours go to see his friends and his beloved Miss Aura. It broke my heart to see his joy and eagerness offset by trepidation and hesitation (and maybe even a little fear). I gave him different options for how to handle the situation from asking Tony to stop (duh) to asking the teacher to intervene. After several more weeks, I spoke with the teacher myself and she promised to keep an eye on them. I probably should have let piglet handle it himself, but for the king's ransom I pay them, and the fact that there's only five students per adult, I thought the kid could use a little help. He's a very gentle soul, my piglet, who would never think of retaliation. I'm working on that. We start boxing next week. I kid...they won't let him start til he's five.

I had a chance to observe Tony in action at a birthday party. The third time he ran by my kid and hit him in the chest, mama bear got up on her hind legs and did a little roaring. I got down to his level, shot lazer beams of death looked him in the eye and told him if he did it again, he and I were going to have a talk with his mama. I explained that some kids don't like to play like that and that piglet would like for him to stop hitting, like he's asked him eleventy hundred times.

The boys' mother is nice enough. She's got a one year old in addition to Tony, along with older children. She's obviously overwhelmed and at her wits end. My question to you wise folks on the interwebs is this: Do you think she wants to know her kid is THAT kid? Or do you think she knows and doesn't know what to do about it? Would you want to know? And lest you may be thinking piglet is a sniveling snissy who needs to man up and handle his own ;) the other seven boys in the class have the same problem. The girls seem to be safe...for now.


Tootsie Farklepants said...

She may not WANT to know but she SHOULD know that Tony is a little bit of a butthole.

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Candy said...

I dunno, kids learn by imitation. I'm guessing she's living with a bunch of people who are "that kid" (husband maybe?) and is used to the behavior. Especially if there are older kids. Tony's probably been beaten up on by his older siblings since he could crawl. It's sad.

Rima said...

Hi, I came over from Candy's Corner. That's a tough call. Sometimes I think they just don't realize it, or they think it's normal behavior. Can you ask Miss Aura to talk to the mom? That seems fair enough, since it's an issue that happens at school.

P.S. Why are the bullies always named "Tony???"

Family Adventure said...

Came by from sweet Candy (ha!)...great post. If you don't know the mother that well, it might be hard to approach her about her son. I would probably let the teacher try to sort it out first in that case. If you know the mother relatively well and think she is receptive, then I would give it a go (as long as you are prepared that she might flat out dismiss your concerns).

I hope it gets resolved. There's nothing more heartbreaking than a child who's afraid of going to school in the morning.