Things that skeer me

I was looking through the Chive today (thechive.com - too lazy to code) and they did an experiment where they had everyone send in a photo of what scared you when you were small. I immediately thought of two things that hadn't crossed my mind in years. Remember the six million dollar man? we have the technology...There was an episode called the death probe. The death probe was this thing:

No matter what, it kept coming and killing. For some reason, I convinced myself that when I was outside, it was going to come lumbering up over the hill and kill us all. Kittens, I was ten years old when this episode aired. Ten.

OMG, I just thought of something that makes me feel marginally better about being a big tit baby. Anyone remember the song about Bigfoot and how he was coming to get you, you better lock the doors? My little brother was in our car listening to the radio when that song came on and scared the living bejeebers out of him. He locked the doors and was crying his little heart out. So while I'm out creeping around trying not to make any vibrations for the death probe to pick up (that's how it found you), I come across that hot mess. Laws, we were some messed up kids! Hmmm. There's one for the therapist. (note to self: find a therapist. Quick.)

Anyhoodles, the second thing that sprang to mind? - this little feller:



Charming, yes? He is Zuni from the Trilogy of Terror. He ate a lady. With his big ole teefs. Really fast, like a piranha. There were other scary parts of that show, I'm sure. I don't remember them. Only him. And how wee he was. Wee enough to fit anywhere in my bedroom. Dresser drawers, closet, under the bed. Hell, under the pillow. And FAST, my he was fast. So fast that even the dog wouldn't be able to save me. And he could jump really far, like from the dresser to my bed.

So...not a lot of sleep for little me after watching that. I have no idea what my parents were thinking, or if they even had recognizable brain activity at that point. Six Million Dollar Man I can understand. You don't expect that to be scary. But when a show is called "Trilogy of Terror" it's a pretty safe bet that it's probably scary.

Now that I've given you a glimpse into the wasteland of my psyche, please do share. Tell me something that scared you so I don't feel like such a goober.

A decision. One has been made.

>

Imma build me a cabin. Oh wait, excuse me. It's a log home. Because I'm fancy.

These are pictures of ones my father built in the Smokey Mountains last year. Take these, add another level, and stretch them out about twenty feet all around, and that's what I'm putting up.



Sadly, I will not have a red pool table as this area will be Silas's bedroom and I hear that they're very uncomfortable for sleeping. I will have cool rails made out of sticks though. I'm going to go pick some up out the woods this afternoon. also sadly? not kidding. that's how you make them



Please ignore furniture that doesn't look right. Mine will be nicer. Also ignore green cabinets. My father hand crafted those and they are gorgeous. But the green? not so much with the gorgeous.



I'm considering a zip line from the loft down to the living area.

Now all I need is a building permit and lots of sticks.

Saturday Smiles

Two smiles today cause I luv ya!

So anyway,

Where was I? That's right, bitching about all things insurance related. I'm still on that roll, but I'll spare you the details. Suffice it to say, house rebuild? Not started. Yes, I know it's been four months. Moving on before I cry from frustration frustration because the insurance people won't come out of the phone so I can wring their necks


I believe it's time for a seasonal Silas update. Dude is getting tall. I'm only 60 inches tall and he's already 46 at 6 years old. It's just not fair. Everybody's taller than me.


He decided to play his violin in his Academy's talent show. He didn't seem to mind that he doesn't know how to play it. He was content to just stand up there and saw away. So my bestie Google and I figured out the first four lines of twinkle twinkle and taught him that. He put on his fancy clothes and knocked em dead.



please note the boots. They are a point of pride.

We're also halfway through baseball season. It was supposed to be the pitching machine this year, but for some reason the coaches keep pitching. Which I guess is better than the kids pitching. That just doesn't sound like a good idea to me. In other news, is this a killer action shot or what?

>

The smoke monster! Behind his head!

Someone should pay me for this stuff. or not, because I don't want to take pictures of anybody else's kids and they won't pay me for pictures of mine (but they should)


Speaking of getting paid, I'm thinking of taking a job as administrator at Silas' school. Thoughts? What do you mean I dislike children? Not all of them. Mine are cool, I can stand yours. It's the rest of them that make me felonious. But! Good news, as administrator, I just administrate. No chirruns! Only paperwork. Paperwork I can do. I can push paper with the best of them. Push it right off my desk into the circular file.


So I got an ipad. I'm going to quit rambling and go play with it.


Loves,

Saturday Smiles

This is how I feel with all the craziness going on.

Insurance, contractors and inspectors..oh my.

I just received the following text from daughter Lucy:

"OMG, am getting ready to drive Daniel Dae Kim to New Orleans. am freaking out. OMG."

*backstory - she just got her first job on a feature film in Baton Rouge, LA. It stars Samuel L. Jackson and Daniel Dae Kim.

I'm not going to link him because I don't want him to google himself and find out what dorks we are, but I did link the film.

What does any of this have to do with mother's day? Well, first I wanted to brag on my kid. She must be doing ok if the people she's working with want to party with her. Second, I'm flattered that when something exciting happened to her, she chose me to get advice from. She could have called any of her friends, tweeted it, or any number of things.

Hopefully, I didn't steer her wrong. I told her to talk to him like he's anyone else and not to act too deferential. That he'd probably appreciate that more than bowing and scraping. That has to get old after a while. (although I could probably endure it for just a bit) I also mentioned that if Lost came up, let him know that we had sad faces when Jin died. *sidenote: fucking Sawyer. He's all 'sorry Jack, I don't' and then my Sayid has to save them all. sob I'll never look at a man in a black tank top the same.

I realize that if you don't watch Lost, you're all 'the hell?' and I'm sorry about that. But seriously, how can you not watch what is arguably one of, if not THE best show ever produced? I highly recommend it. Get the boxed set. We'll watch it together. also, I may be high. I think I confused the xanax with the sudafed. Upside is, I'm so mellow I don't care if I'm congested.

So, since my mental faculties are rapidly deteriorating, I best wrap this up quit sighing with relief. it's rude To recap - kids are doing good. I got asked for advice, so I'm all that, tomorrow's mother's day. So whether you're a birth mother, earth mother, soul mother or heart mother, I hope you have a wonderful day.

Loves

Saturday Something

This isn't a smile, but I had to share it. Stare at it for a moment. Does it make your brain hurt, too? I probably should have put a seizure warning on it.

We should download it and make it our screensavers. Then we can sit around in a stupor, staring at it and drooling all day.

I do that anyway, but at least I'd have an excuse.